I hate it when Vice is important.
VICE : Hello Ai. Where did this idea of giving birth to sharks come from?
Ai Hasegawa: I’m 32. It’s a good age for a woman to think about giving life. But having a real child isn’t that simple. You have to give them a happy life. You can’t abandon them. I think simply wanting a baby isn’t a good enough reason to have one.
Well, it’s a good start.
We’re soon going to be facing a global food shortage crisis. How on earth are we going to feed new humans? But I still want to give life, I don’t want 30 years of painful menstruation to have all been in vain. And I want to eat good meat.
Is Carrying the fetus of another species technically even possible?
It will be, in the near future. A human uterus is just the right size to hold one fetus. I’ve been speaking to a gynaecologist about ways of making it bigger. I believe humans could use their uterus as an aquarium or incubator. Wouldn’t there be compatibility issues between a human placenta and a shark’s?
The placenta comes from the fetus, not the mother, meaning there’s no need to modify human DNA. I’ve been assured that it should be possible to create “dolph-human” or “shark-human” placentas just by modifying the animal’s DNA. I’m still doing the research, but sharks seem to be the most compatible. And as a species, sharks fit all my criteria: They’re endangered, their life-span is almost as long as that of a human, and most importantly, they’re delicious.
Do you think women will accept carrying animal fetuses?
Carrying a shark fetus inside your uterus means you have to stop menstruating. But the medication for that has very unpleasant side-effects. I think the ideal carrier profile would be a rich, single, and above all menopausal woman.
And what are the advantages of doing this?
We don’t need any more humans, there are too many already as it is. Mostly, it’s a way of preserving endangered species.
And it would be a new way of producing food. Because you could eat the shark baby after it came out. Which is a totally logical thing to do.
Exactly! And you would no longer feel the guilt of eating another animal. It’s also less costly than raising a human, and there are fewer responsibilities. I find it less terrifying than adopting a child you might end up not loving.
— things people say to me
On May 13, 2012, Sea Shepherd Conservation Society founder Paul Watson was arrested for protecting sharks in 2002. Join Sea Shepherd Conservation Society for a screening of the documentary Sharkwater, which captures the incident that led to his arrest. For filmmaker Rob Stewart, exploring sharks began as an underwater adventure. What it turned into was a beautiful and dangerous life journey into the balance of life on earth. Driven by passion fed from a life-long fascination with sharks, Stewart debunks historical stereotypes and media depictions of sharks as bloodthirsty, man-eating monsters and reveals the reality of sharks as pillars in the evolution of the seas. Sharkwater takes you into the most shark rich waters of the world, exposing the exploitation and corruption surrounding the world’s shark populations in the marine reserves of Cocos Island, Costa Rica and the Galapagos Islands, Ecuador.
In an effort to protect sharks, Stewart teams up with renegade conservationist Captain Paul Watson of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. Their unbelievable adventure together starts with a battle between the Sea Shepherd and shark poachers in Guatemala, resulting in conflicts with pirate boats, gunboat chases, mafia espionage, corrupt court systems and attempted murder charges, forcing them to flee for their lives and eventually leading to Paul Watson’s arrest in Frankfurt on May 13, 2012. Captain Watson is currently under house arrest in Germany, awaiting possible extradition to Costa Rica.
After the documentary, Sea Shepherd volunteers will take questions about our campaigns across the world, including the summer 2012 shark defense campaign in the South Pacific. Crew members and on-shore volunteers will be on hand to discuss how you can help release Paul Watson, get involved in Sea Shepherd and become a member. We will also be selling official Sea Shepherd merchandise.
Jivamukti Yoga School
841 Broadway, second floor, Manhattan
7p; $10 suggested donation
I’ve made my share of menstrual hut jokes but nonetheless spending the past two days inside bleeding and cramping has been quite nice, considering the heat outside and the toiletries/drugs/snacks inside.
Research shows that hormonal changes in women across the menstrual cycle affect vocal production. Most work has documented shifts at high fertility times (i.e., ovulation) or during premenstruation. However, hormonal changes at menstruation also affect female physiology and behavior and could affect vocal production. The present studies investigated perceptual differences in voices recorded during menstruation compared with recordings taken at other times of the menstrual cycle. Results show that male raters could reliably identify voices recorded during menstruation with or without the presence of a voice recorded closest to ovulation. In addition, voices recorded at menstruation were identified as being the most unattractive. These findings indicate that voice recordings taken at times of lowest fertility may uniquely impact women’s vocal production and that perceptions of voice based on cycle phase are not specific to the time of heightened fertility. Implications for the evolution of human menstrual cycle cues are discussed.
Major Tumblr implications.
nothing lays a body low like having yr asshole waxed
unrelatedly yesterday while my urologist was examining the vast wasteland of my junk she was like ‘did you do that yourself?’ referring to my econo...
“Ke$ha confessed that the ghost’s sex drive was too much to handle, and she decided to move out because she wasn’t getting any...