(by miranda lehman)
Ey reminds me so much of Ar
TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER
STAY LOYAL AND STEADFAST
KEEP YOUR SECRETS
i feel like there are cultural narratives about friendship that are totally apolitical
and that prioritize the romantic couple above all other kinds of micro-level social couplings—as the only kind of relationship that merits deprioritizing individual choice or whatever and other kinds of friendships, even lifelong ones, as jokes, essentially, and certainly as secondary to kinship relationships and sexual relationships
i mean foucault writes about this in friendship as a way of life, other people have too
and whatever obviously friendship falls inside the bounds of capital/obviously friendships are political
and im just interested in being oppositional with my friendships i guess, part of that is an ethic of care
none of this is anything new but i never stop being surprised when people are deeply shitty to one another in intimate friendships and how sort of baldly that opens people up to capitalistic logics (especially people who espouse any kind of oppositional politic)
“im alone in this world so i gotta look out for me”
i am jaded about a great many things i have no right to be jaded about, but friendship for whatever reason is not one of them
probably because of how much i love my friends and how random they are??? you do the math
it’s very strange because sometimes you stop speaking to people you thought you would be close to forever, and sometimes you meet someone randomly and end up becoming fast friends. our relationships with each other are so fluid. it’s very disconcerting because sometimes you have so many good memories with someone but you haven’t talked to them for years, what do you do with all that nostalgia? where do you keep it? sometimes people do you wrong but you might run in to them downtown on sixth avenue and you don’t feel bitter because your life is full of new and beautiful people, and you don’t have time to feel jaded because wow, last february it rained every single day and today it was so warm outside it felt like summer.
farahjoon: I was thinking about this all day yesterday. I was driving and I was ruminating on people who I’ve lost, both unintentionally and deliberately, throughout the past 5 years or so and, yes, it’s bittersweet, but also it’s about harnessing and facilitating and stimulating my own personal/political/spiritual growth — it’s about better understanding and accepting my identity and finding people who have the same backgrounds, goals, frustrations, impulses, and values as I do.
(I moved the attributions to make it more clear who said what, I hate that it’s so confusing.)
Lydia Davis | The End of the Story
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