September 23, 2012

I went down on my Neurontin dosage, and the voices went away, but the pain went way back up and the one good side effect, the weird ability Neurontin has to prevent hangovers, is sadly gone. Just two glasses of wine and death.

4:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyTyHTs6
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: neurontin 
August 11, 2012

wandatinasky replied to your post: opheliadoris replied to your post: Neurontin is…

the thought that i will be going on to and off of meds and making all sorts of compromises just so that i can leave my house without losing my shit for the rest of my life keeps me up at night

Ugh I am sorry. On a good day (no extra pain or anxiety or spasms) I take 17 prescription pills at various times, plus supplements like magnesium and stuff, but I find it better than the alternative, given my mental and physical ailments. I’d be literally paralyzed, and mentally undone. I know it’s not as simple as that for others, plus the issues of finding the right combination of medications, dealing with side effects, and paying for the fucking stuff. If you ever want to talk, I am around. I think it’s good we’re talking on tumblr about it, too.

4:16pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyRDFTrB
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Filed under: wandatinasky pharma neurontin 
August 11, 2012

opheliadoris replied to your post: Neurontin is ruining my memory for everything except grudges and imagined (MAYBE) slights.

UGH :(( i hated neurontin so hard b/c of the memory thing. it was like being really stoned (which i hate anyway) hearing my own thoughts across a lake but not being able to spit them out.

So many hours of painfully trying to explain to people why I can’t remember the name of one of my closest friends without giving them my entire medical history. Also, if anyone recalls my recent posts about hearing voices, bells, whispers, etc., turns out auditory hallucinations are another side effect, triggered by recently doubling my dose.

Still so worth it to me though, I’d be dead or worse without it. Maybe when I don’t have to murder my days away at The Woman to pay off my medical bills I can try and taper off to see if I have any brain left. The few times I’ve gone off due to forgetting refills (wonder why?) I’ve been pretty fucking sick though.

I hope you’ve found something that works for you, ophie!

2:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyRC_1oE
(Notes: 2)
  
Filed under: neurontin pharma 
August 11, 2012

opheliadoris replied to your post: Neurontin is ruining my memory for everything except grudges and imagined (MAYBE) slights.

ha what i mean is i’m actually really reassured to read this… it triggered my irritability/self-hate so hard that i literally got catatonic. &yet could’ve been cool if combined w/ the confidence to experience the whole thing as a talking strike.

I like how talking strike is one of those terms that means its own opposite. I guess strike in general is one. 

2:50pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyRCydde
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Filed under: opheliadoris neurontin pharma 
August 11, 2012
Neurontin is ruining my memory for everything except grudges and imagined (MAYBE) slights.

Those are such cornerstones of my personality it’s impossible to dislodge them.

2:03pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyRCoUOR
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Filed under: messages pharma neurontin 
July 26, 2012

I’ve talked to a few people about my voices. They often ask “What do the voices say?” Apparently it’s a big deal whether your voices are telling you to do stuff or if they are being mean to you. I’m always like, “I don’t listen to them!” (Because that would be crazy.) I suspect their impulse is to tell me to listen to them and report back for sorting purposes, but they can’t quite get themselves to say the words. And then they refer me to someone else.

8:39pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Zu71EyQAMy-L
(Notes: 5)
  
Filed under: voices sorting neurontin 
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